Dear diary,
I am feeling down and depressed right now because I don’t understand how life can be so unfair. Now here I am sitting by the playground, looking at those kids, it makes me feel so isolated and unwanted. But why? I don’t understand why I’m in this state of misery. And why my parents had to divorce when I was young. I was there to support myself, physically and mentally. Hearing those laughter from the kids and shouts from the parents telling them to be careful, makes me think if there is anyone out there who cares for me.
Today in school, it was the new semester. No one wanted to befriend me and I was bullied by the most popular bunch of bitches in school. Who the hell are they to do that to me? Just wait! Before I graduate from this school, I swear that I will get my anger one day. Sooner or later…
I can never remember the last time I smile. Perhaps it was during the time I was a toddler when mum and dad, the seemingly familiar strangers cradled me in their arms. I have never felt so protected and loved before. I crave for someone who shows what love is.
While I was on the way to my usual spot, I saw groups of teenagers laughing and having fun together. Walking pass me as though I was invisible. But then I heard my name being mentioned. I thought they finally noticed me. But to my dismay, they were actually gossiping about me as if a sea slug!! At that moment, I really wanted to bury my head into the ground. But instead I just plough through the crowds while hiding my tearful face. My heart cannot take it anymore!
I wish I could just teleport to may perfect getaway. Whenever I get here, all my unhappiness goes away because this is the only place that the two familiar strangers brought me here while they were still together. It was the happiest 6 years of my 17 years of life.
Wouldn’t it be better off if I’m an orphan? I try to avoid the urge to slitting my wrists. I’m so confuse, I do not know what to think about now.
I wish I can just end my life, and all the sufferings will end but… why can’t I just live like other teenagers? I wonder…
3 comments:
i can feel the lonely left-out teenage soul from ur post. I'm quite impressed with ur writing skills. keep it up!
It is damn nice !!! It is also a superise that i am also thinking to write the diary blog . . .huh !!!! Composation is dead good !!!! <<< BIG comment !!!! :)
to von and demo- thank for ur comments guys
:)
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